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Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

26 oktober 2023

This has been a large few days for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very first portion involves united states via xojane, the women’s website went upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(i am major) of




Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part belongs to the “it just happened in my opinion” function which also existed at JANE journal and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating private experiences.

The anonymous author of this portion, who we’ll phone “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she conveniently provides strike jobs to the woman male lovers but does not day or frequently go down on women, she is, she clarifies, officially, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She additionally describes by herself as “mostly straight” and “direct” at additional points inside story.) Her reputation started, she describes, when her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at the woman college — went down on her behalf for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it following immediately fled the scene fearing her very own incapacity to execute these types of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended time frame.

She produces:

“of course, word got around that she and that I had connected and this I’d remaining the lady clinging, which in fact had the strange effectation of providing me folk-heroine status. Kelly labeled as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It absolutely was like some form of motion picture conceit where in fact the champion is actually recognised incorrectly as a high profile and gets to ride in a limo and stay in an elegant resort considering it.”

This seemingly completely exercised inside her favor, as she romped about in university hooking up with lots of “aggressive kinds just who got off on idea that I was unwilling to try to let a woman touch me personally.” Post-college, she moved on towards the net, where she marketed the lady comfortable condition and sometimes found up with women for NSA gender.

Around the conclusion she problematically explains that when connecting with a lady she actually is maybe not keen on, she merely closes her sight and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it seems like she wishes women for eating her away because they are presumably much better at it than men are. She


go lower to them but “I’m not dating all of them, and that I don’t believe i might want to have my fetish corrupted by looking after someone adequate to surrender.”

I’dnot want to sit alongside Ariel on an airplane, but the woman one-sided intimate experiences are consensual and she actually is just advising a real story of her life, thus I’m not sure things to model of this (and I also’m curious to understand what you make from it, if everything).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Men Project
) we
I Married a Lesbian (And I’m a Guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended receive crushes on the same variety of woman: the star basketball player, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren’t.” He questioned:

What-is-it that received me personally oftentimes to ladies who happened to be same-sex drawn? It certainly was not the stereotypical male dream in what these people were performing between the sheets, and it also certainly had nothing at all to do with a macho notion that i possibly could turn a gay woman straight.

In elements, the piece (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded myself of the price from

The Girls Next-door

which I quoted in an article about female manliness

“…if we had to create one other generalization about lesbian flavor, it would be that many you are powerfully keen on ladies, homosexual or right, beautiful or otherwise not, whom seem as though they’re able to care for by themselves.”

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian just who presented as directly, and then he found their unique causing sex-life to get unsatisfactory. She would not give him blow tasks and did not like entrance but joyfully approved their choices of cunnilingus. When their particular sexless matrimony finished in splitting up and a drug relapse (for him), he’s seemingly thoughtful to their ex-wife’s challenge without labeling her as misleading (as much of the commenters carry out):

She had originate from a conventional family members who would being seriously embarrassed getting a homosexual son or daughter. She may will have identified, but performed the girl far better hide it, possibly wishing that the woman feelings might transform. Or she may have been like more than a few females I’ve known, and just found her true sexual identification after currently being married to one.

What is redeeming about any of it article in my experience that the author’s conception of his own sex is mostly without the original masculine posturing one might expect in a piece along these lines (the guy actually refers to himself as “femmy”). Possibly it really appears that means because males therefore seldom come up with wanting strong, sports, effective females with short-hair; but it’s refreshing nonetheless.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their own stories, but it is worth pointing out that both narratives seem to ride on concept that room behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever penetration is barely a solely heterosexual work (it appears inclined Courtney dreaded the closeness of entrance with a person she don’t wish to-be with, yet who knows) and falling crazy, in the long run, is approximately the snatch but it’s in addition regarding your heart and it is largely about having intimate emotions. Those romantic emotions are the thing that turns a hook-up connection into a relationship, most likely.

Finally at

we have a sweet tale directly through the pony’s throat —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I think here is the very first time the “First Time” series features included a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian feelings for her, along with her closest friend reciprocated, as well as proceeded to continue a covert lesbian commitment and they are however with each other now and the woman is a grown-up inside armed forces!

This indicates they’ve yet to take their union outside of the dresser, that will be a little puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this story ended up being authored before DADT ended up being repealed, although it just adopted published, therefore there’s nothing puzzling happening here. This is simply straight-up nice in almost every way, unequivocally.]

The focus from the portion (that’s extremely attractive and nice) is found on the author’s knowledge of
what lesbian intercourse is quite

We had never ever gone down on each some other, and I was sure that is what we’d meant as soon as we mentioned we wished to have girls for sex near me (Now we realize absolutely even more to fucking than slurping a woman’s pussy and phoning it every day.)

She concludes:

I understand that many folks disagree regarding what virginity ways to a homosexual lady, but virginity is completely subjective, plus it truly is based on the person you’re inquiring. Some people might say entrance has to be included, but In my opinion it is as much as anyone losing their virginity. Basically feel I’ve lost my personal virginity, after that goddammit, I have!

I’ve invested all of the day and mid-day looking at wordpress, trying to figure out just what point i possibly could generate about some of these parts. I imagined a great deal about why we’d never release “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this website but are unable to get past the reason that I would worry 50 of you would vow not to get back right here while the remaning many-thousands of you would battle with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before heating loss of the market. We envisioned somebody distributing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email following We envisioned the article conference where we would arrive at that tale and all of say “NO” concurrently.

In searching for a spot to gleam from these tales, I tried to determine what you’d believe or say, and that I can not, and that I would you like to complete this blog post as quickly as possible to improve the process of me personally finding out what you believe about these stories. Yup, the very first time since that time starting Autostraddle, i have had gotten little idea what things to say about anything. Thus perhaps i ought to just ask you to answer — what is actually the a reaction to these pieces?

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